There is something about the notion of the end of the world that puts one thought into many people’s minds--I NEED TO GET LOTS AND LOTS OF GUNS! For some reason, guns are perceived to be the answer to survival. What are you going to do? Hunt with them? Do yo know how hard hunting is? As a species, we’ve made it difficult for wildlife to live in numbers necessary to sustain us, plus hunting burns way to many calories unless you have lots of beer and potato chips back at camp. Besides, you can build traps to catch wildlife with little effort if you really can’t swear off meat. Give me canned beans any day. B&M maple and brown sugar vegetarian are the best! They’re packed with calories, fiber, and protein and I could eat them every day, plus, (if they’re on sale) $20 can buy you a month’s supply if you eat them for every meal. Pick up a large stock of One 'a Day vitamins for the rest of your necessary nutrients and you can eat virtually gun-free at the end.
Personal protection is another reason people crave guns when thinking of end times, but what are the real benefits? Zombies are easier to kill will a couple of machetes than with rifles or handguns. Aliens will likely have shielding against simple projectile weapons. Mutants don’t tend to care much about living or dying and tend to have enhanced powers anyway. Shooting a lot of other humans carries bad moral connotations and you may become a target by other gun nuts. Also, you will eventually run out of ammunition and get to the point where you have to trade candy to long-haired dirty kids that can’t talk for extra shells--it’s just pathetic.
So stock up on canned goods and lay low. The gun people will shoot each other or themselves before too long. You don’t need guns. If you want them, you can just take then from corpses after the fact.
Strike that…. reverse it. Buy lots of guns! (insert nonchalant whistling)
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