There are those that will consider the choice of one’s wardrobe to be a frivolous concept when it concerns the end of the world. After all, billion of lives have abruptly ended and those of us who survive are faced which unspeakable horrors on a daily basis. You may have just buried the family next door so that the smell of their rotting bodies does not attract mutant vermin. You may have just decapitated the animated corpse of your 8th grade English teacher because she tried to eat your brain. Marauders may have enslaved your Mom and Dad. Does it really matter what you are wearing?
OF COURSE IT DOES!
End of the world attire must be the perfect blend of rugged functionality and bad-ass intimidation. You don’t want to risk fighting if you don’t have to, and though a set of Carhardt coveralls might be strong, warm, and waterproof--they do not scream Don’t MESS WITH ME. That’s why I recommend the classic black leather biker jacket.
Leather never goes out of style and that’s true for the end of the world, too. The jacket was designed to protect the human torso from hitting asphalt at high velocity so it also protects against claws, teeth, sticks, rocks, and knives. Plus, it is warm, windproof, and waterproof. The many zippered pockets allow you to carry multiple small objects like keys, poison darts, or detonators without losing them. It also looks bitchin’!
Ponchos are waterproof, but often flammable, brightly colored, and you look about as intimidating as a golf tournament spectator. I recommend a 1940s Dutch military issue motorcycle trench coat. It is completely waterproof, olive drab, has leg straps to keep it from billowing in the wind, and slits in the side for reaching hip-holstered shotguns and such. You may also choose a hooded wool cloak for colder climates.
For footwear there is no substitute for the Doc Marten boot. The leather is supple, and the air cushion soles will make you feet indefatigable on long scavenging runs. Also great for kicking heads in.
A many-pocketed rucksack or messenger bag is a useful and attractive accessory. Levi Strauss jeans (either blue or black) are tough enough to take a lot of abuse and still make a fashion statement.
It’s the end of the world--not the end of fashion. Whether you are overthrowing an alien caretaker government or leading the last non-mutant group of school children to safety, you have to think about your appearance. Even if it comes to the point where someone is later stumbling across your mutilated remains, you want to hope that they look down and say, “That dude looks AWESOME!”
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