THE BANANA

What's the deal with bananas? Besides the giraffe, the zebra, and that butterfly that doesn't get eaten because it just happens to look like another poisonous butterfly, it is the one thing that makes me believe in creationism. And that the creators had a wicked sense of humor.
I'm not a real fan of bananas. I read that weathy businessmen installed puppet dictators in banana producing countries so that they could make a lot of money. These dictators were brutal and cruel to their people and made them work as banana picking slaves. Also, bananas are spayed with tons of chemicals and there's no way of checking because they are still mostly grown in the same countries of questionable governmental legitimacy. Plus, I prefer apples.
The banana is funny, though. For some reason, it's hard not to put one up to your ear and say "Hello". It is also very phallic. Plus, it's apparently the most slippery thing in the world.
I have never actually seen anyone slip on a banana peel. According to our comedy movies and television shows, this happens quite a bit. I've slipped on a cucumber, a piece of raw chicken, rotten lettuce, dog poop, cat poop, baby poop, cow poop, ice cubes, butter, and numerous other items but never a banana peel. Last week was the first time in my life that I actually saw a banana peal on a walking surface. It was right in the middle of the sidewalk. I took a picture of it and then put it in the trash (I didn't want to take any chances). I looked around for a movie crew, but I didn't see one.
Was there ever a time and place that banana peels were commonly on floors and walkways? I can't imagine that people would see them. They are bright yellow and brown, after all.
I’ve never seen anyone slip on an oil slick either, but that’s another story for another time.